Myths about Forgiving Add to Suffering of Victims

News Release

‘Myths about Forgiving Add to Suffering of Victims’, says Jesuit Priest in New Book

Myths about forgiving add to the burden of suffering for victims, says Jesuit priest, Brian Lennon, in his new book, So You Can’t Forgive ...? Moving Towards Freedom, which will be launched by Dr Maureen Gaffney on Thursday, 26 February 2009 in the Ignatian Room in Gardiner St Church at 12.30 p.m.

The myths noted by Fr Lennon in the book include the ideas that forgiving removes the need for punishment and that it minimises wrongdoing.

‘Forgiving does not mean any of these things’, Fr Lennon says. Rather, he suggests it is a process in which people can reclaim their freedom by slowly letting go of their desire for revenge and separating themselves in their mind from the wrongdoer. Other stages may follow, such as wishing the wrongdoer well.

Commenting on the book, Dr Gaffney, psychologist and Chairperson of the National Economic and Social Forum, says: ‘This is a very reflective, insightful account of the forgiving process. It nicely combines the psychological and spiritual dimensions. I particularly liked the focus on the process of psychological separation and the desire for autonomy as an important but often a neglected aspect of the journey towards forgiving.’

Fr Lennon acknowledges that Churches are sometimes responsible for a false understanding of what forgiving means. He says: ‘The Christian message does, of course, speak of love, including love of one’s enemies, but it also talks of anger. However, the righteous anger of God is never destructive: rather, it is intended to express God’s condemnation of wrongdoing, and to call people to a different way.’

A Culture of Victimhood?

Fr Lennon suggests that while increased media attention to the experiences of victims has led to greater recognition of their hurt, there is a danger that we may be creating a culture of ‘victimhood’.

He asks: ‘What is the cost of this? Could it mean that people define themselves as victims? Might it result in people seeing themselves as having no power, and putting themselves in the power of others?’

A Dublin-born Jesuit, Brian Lennon has spent many years in Northern Ireland working with people affected by the conflict there. So You Can’t Forgive? draws on his experience in Northern Ireland but touches also on suffering arising in other contexts – for instance, as a result of violent crime, domestic violence, family and workplace disputes, sexual abuse in childhood.
So You Can’t Forgive …? Moving Towards Freedom is published by Columba Press.

The author is available for interview.
For further information please contact: Ms Pat Coyle, Jesuit Communications Manager
Mobile:  086 819 0029 or 01 6768408
Fr Brian Lennon SJ: Mobile: 086 153 2554